This was supposed to be posted on VOX but they seem to be closing down so I had to spend the day trying to save the past 4 years worth of postings. Now that everything is saved, I don’t think I will import them in to wordpress. Instead, I can use this to start over all new and stuff.

9/4/2010

I started using facebook to keep up with friends and past co-workers. Then I met loads of people I knew from high school and such so like many others, I got hooked and started keeping up with everything. Since moving away from where I was born and raised, it has been a useful tool to say hi to people I haven’t seen in a long time. Lately however, it has been kind of depressing to look at what people are doing with their lives. Everyone seems to be happily married, happy family, family vacations, new jobs, new houses, new businesses, and so on. I guess having none of that kinda makes me feel like I’m standing in the front yard and peeking through their front windows. Their lives seem so much more interesting and complete. They all have their own lives, they have careers, they own homes, their kids are all doing well, and it sort of makes me feel like crap because I have my bedroom and my computer. My phone hasn’t rung in almost a year. The last person who called me was my old house mate because he was looking for a book and he thought I had packed it by mistake when I moved. While he was talking to me on the phone, he found it in a box in the garage. As soon as he found his book, he seemed to me more interested in looking at it than talking to me so we ended the conversation. I have tried to call some of my long time friends but they always seem to be in the middle of something or on their way someplace and can’t talk. Some time I get the feeling I have just been tolerated all these years and now that I am away I don’t need to be tolerated any more. I know people have their lives to live but you can’t be THAT busy all the time. I get the feeling that if I stopped trying to keep in touch, no one would notice. I know things always change as life goes on and blah blah blah, but come on, I have been friends with some of them for 30+ years. Maybe I just need to quit thinking my life would be better if I had the family, job, house etc, and get on with what I do. I don’t do much so it would be easy to do just that. Maybe it’s time to do some spring cleaning in my head and let go of all the stuff I think I miss. I seem to do OK with solitude even though I am a people person. I have been alone for 40 years so a few more shouldn’t be that hard to do. I should use the friendly down time to get back in to my writing. I need to force myself to write something every day even though my low times make it hard to come up with anything funny. Maybe at a future date I can go back over things that seem gloomy and make them funny. Oh well, enough bitching from me. I know what I need; a yummy beer. I haven’t had one in a long time…..

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