I hate seeing lists. That’s only because can’t help answering them. I’m like a gnat buzzing around a bug zapper. They seem innocent at first then I look at the clock, and “poof” three hours has passed. Oh well.

–  5 WORST

1) What the worst job you have ever had?

I worked for a building maintenance company that shall remain nameless. I only worked there for about six weeks. That was the only job where I ended up threatening the owner with extreme bodily harm if I wasn’t paid, in cash, before my truck finished warming up in the parking lot. Before you think I’m a mean guy, let me explain. The owners turned out to have a cocaine habit which left them with enough money to pay three of their ten employees every week. I only figured that out after my fifth paycheck bounced. Then I noticed the other guys racing to the bank every Friday…I just thought they liked to race each other?

2) What is the worst meal ever eaten?

I once unknowingly ate a plate of bad shrimp at Pier 39. That was REAL bad. I think I still have a picture of both eyes sporting ruptured blood vessels.

3) What was the meanest thing you have ever said to someone?

I once had a “discussion” with a co-worker with for being slow and he started crying. I was nineteen, and he was 58, so I felt like crap afterward.

4) What’s the worst vacation you have ever been on?

A few years ago I got really sick before I was supposed to fly up to spend Christmas with my family. The tickets were non refundable, so I went anyway and ended up playing the role of a corpse on my mother’s couch during the whole holiday. I probably shouldn’t have been on a plane, but I had the row to myself, and coughed into my shirt. I’d say that was more curious than other have been around me.

5) What’s the worst car you have ever owned?

I would have to say my old 64 Volkswagen square back. I had wooden 2×4 seat rails that let the seat flop backwards if you gave it too much gas. If I was driving at night, I used a cigarette lighter to see the speedometer. I also had to use a rope as a hand throttle a few times when the throttle cable broke. I was an ugly car…

– 5 BEST

1) What was the best job you ever had?

I would have to say Hotmail. I ended up having a bad experience there work wise, but I also met a lot of good life-long friends there.

2) What was the best meal you have ever eaten?

I would have to say the pork chop topped with peaches and froi gras at Trader Vick’s inMountain View, Ca. The meat fest at the Prime Rib Loft inLas Vegascomes in a real close second.

3) What’s the best vacation you have ever been on?

It’s not really one vacation specifically but I REALLY miss going to Baja every summer with my friends. Nothing beats warm weather, empty beaches with nothing to do but play in the ocean all day, and watch the sun go down from a lawn chair with a good Mexican beer in hand.

4) What was the best car you ever owned?

I really liked my 97 Jeep Wrangler. It felt more like riding a horse than driving a car but it was nice being able to pull the top off and get a tan on the way to some place fun. It was big and drove over everything…

5) What was the best childhood memory?

Riding bikes all around the neighborhood with my friends and terrorizing the neighbors. Riding bikes in the storm drains while they were building the new section of HWY 101 atBernal Rd.was pretty fun too.

– 5 Quick answers

1) Favorite word: dumbass

2) Favorite color: green

3) Favorite time of day: dusk

4) Favorite way to kill time: internet

5) Favorite plant: anything cactus related

– Random

1) Internet or Newspaper: Internet – save the trees – kill electrons

2) Morning person or Night person: I’m a night person, and a morning person…that’s bad.

3) Planned or Spontaneous: Meh depends

4) Popeye or Bluto: Bluto

5) Loud or Quiet: Quiet

6)Sunriseor Sunset: Sunset

7) Coffee or Tea: Tea

8) Drive or Walk: Drive – They invented cars for a reason.

9) Beef or Pork: Beef burger, pork everything else.

10) Fast Food or Home Cooked: Good fast food (if it exists) has it’s place, but home cooked is always better.

– Lasts

1) If you were going to be stuck some place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Some place warm and tropical. Like the island in Castaway, or maybe a deserted stretch of coastline.

2) Death Row Meal: If you were granted anything as a last meal, what would it be?

1 full rack of BBQ pork ribs, 16 oz. porterhouse steak “medium rare”, 1 large order of McDonald’s French fries, 1 Big Mac, 2 crunchy tacos from Taco bell, 1 fresh baguette, half a wheel of Brie, 1 bottle or good red wine preferably a merlot or a cab, ¾ or a pound of boiled shrimp with heads on, 5 pieces of the following sushi: Uni, Ebi, Otoro, Unagi, Hamachi-Kama “broiled tuna collar”, and 1 large #16 from Pho Thanh Long in Santa Clara, California. I know that’s a lot of food but if I’m checking out for the last time, I may as well stick it to the man before I go.