Well here I am. It’s after two in the morning, and I’m staring at my computer screen instead of sleeping. What am I looking at? I’m trying to find companies that will ship yummy things to my sissified country. Yes, sissified. Americans are the biggest pussies when it comes to food. We allow our citizens to eat chemically altered shit fast food, but they won’t let us eat icky things like haggis, because Haggis contains “the pluck” which is heart, liver, lungs and such. They say it’s unhealthy? UNHEALTHY! Have you seen what goes into your average chicken nugget? If you stood a fast food addict next to a lover of offal, the 60 inch waist line, and triple chin would instantly let you know who was who? What are they afraid of? People have been eating stuff like that since we’ve been eating animals? Granted my list is a little odd, but there is nothing wrong with it, or wanting to try it. My culinary bucket list is long, but the top five have eluded me for a long time. Some of it I could get at Christmas, but I really don’t want to wait another six months.

-Current top 5 of my culinary bucket list-

1. Surstrӧmming – sure the can is swollen, but that doesn’t make it dangerous? European shops won’t ship it to the US, and most airlines have banned it, because they think it’s an exploding hazard.




2. Haggis – What the pluck! I know I’d have to settle for canned haggis, but the only companies that will ship to the US are forced to ship “American friendly” versions. I want the real thing!




3. Lutefisk – Jello-fish.  What’s not to like? Lots of people love it, so I want to try it.




4. Fresh Durain – I’ve already tried a durian smoothie, and I liked it. Now I want to try the real thing.





5. Fresh Stinky Tofu – Fresh is kind of the wrong word for it. Basically what I’m after doesn’t come from a can or a jar. How could millions of stinky tofu lovers be wrong?