While watching television before heading out to class, I noticed something that need addressing.

I guess the next episode of Oprah’s next Chapter will involve her interviewing David Copperfield at his home, on his private island in the Bahamas. One of the questions she asks him during the commercial was “Is it healthy to live out here by yourself?” Really? What the hell kind of question is that? I’d love to live alone on my own island in the Bahamas! If people came to visit, they wouldn’t be able to talk out loud. It would be my own private island of “Shoosh”. I would even name the island “Shoosh” just to piss off the people who would never be able to buy an island as magical as mine. The weather would be perfect, and I would never again have to tell some obnoxious person to shut the fuck up. I could sit back, get a tan, and catch up on my reading….What’s so dangerous about that? I’m on David Copperfield’s side. He’s probably tired of hearing people too. After working in Vegas for so long, he’s probably more hateful than I am towards yappy people. Good for him.

While I was driving to school, I stopped at a 7-11 for a bottle of water (don’t judge me). When I got in line, I was reading the headlines of all those stupid celebrity trash magazines. Every single one of them was covered with the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce. What was funny was how pissed the tabloids seem to be towards Tom Cruise. Every one of them basically said “Fucking Tom Cruise! What an asshole! They make it sound like he only wanted custody of their kid so he could do scientific experiments on her. Like they all know what brought on the divorce. I bet not one of those idiots has even met either of them in real life, but that makes them an expert on the relationship. All I know is famous people shouldn’t get married, because they NEVER last. Well no longer than a few hours anyway. How do we know Katie didn’t bring on the divorce? She could have been running around the house dressed in dog clothes for all we know. Maybe Tom just got tired of her being “cute as a button” 24/7, and him being referred to as “the older man”? Let em alone so they can self destruct in peace. It’s more fun that way.

– Now that I’m at school the madness doesn’t let up. –

The guy that just sat next to me smells like he’s a smoker; a smoker that smells like he rolled in a cigarette patch. I don’t know these people can live their lives smelling like a wet ashtray that somehow got dumped on a wet dog? I swear I just absorbed two cigarette’s worth of nicotine just sitting here. Better that than smelling like ass I guess.

The really weird girl is talking again. She has a pretty decent lung capacity, because she can talk nonstop about the most random crap for hours. “I tried to take a nap, but I couldn’t now I feel weird (says the girl who looks like a snuffleupagus). She has more hair than should be allowed by law, yet she is still able to squeeze a trucker’s hat over the top of it which hides her face like Slash from Guns n Roses. She’s our own little Cousin It.

I’m glad the air-conditioning is still on. Last week they shut it off half way through class, and the friggin classroom shot up to about 100 degrees. I almost walked out. Someone has to be messing with us. They pulled that last quarter during one of my exams, and I was sweating so bad I actually messed up my exam. Thanks Clark….I hope whoever is doing the study on torture got what they needed…oh wait they got us last week, so the study must be on going….

Wow, that dude still smells like an ash tray. I think I have emphysema now. Thanks broken down version of Slim Shady…..Now I’ll die of lung cancer before I get a chance to buy my island….

I don’t know who this guy is, but I’d thought I’d share this picture of him, because he has a cool beard growing out of his shoulders….

His beard, chest, and back hair are a single entity. His head is floating on a hairy cloud, but he looks like a fun guy. I’d play cards with him.