I ate more stuff the other day. Some of it wasn’t bad, some of it was tolerable, and some was pretty rough. I started out with a “vegetarian friendly” fried gluten with peanuts.


It wasn’t too bad at all. It looked more like a cross between brown scrambled eggs, and paper towels soaked in meat juice? The gluten was real spongy and seemed to have soaked up all the sweet soy sauce it was packed in. The peanuts were raw and soft from being packed in a semi-liquid. I actually finished the can, even though it would have tasted better warm or over rice. I’d definitely eat it again.

Round two consisted of a can of fried clarias fish with chili.


 It didn’t stink up the house like some of the other canned fish I’ve eaten recently, but it did leave a lingering smell on my hands even after washing them about eleven times. The fish seems to have been dried before frying which allowed it to soak up the soy and chili. It was fish, but the spices they cooked it in made it taste more like wet beef jerky? It even looked like beef jerky, but each piece has a chunk of fish spine in it. No, not beef. The flavor threw me off, because my brain was saying fish, but my mouth was saying beef jerky. I don’t know. I didn’t finish the can.

Then came round three…which was plain fried fish (mackerel) with chili. The fish had been dried before frying just like the clarias fish, but this seemed to be WAY over cooked. I’m guessing they have to pasteurize it once it’s in the can to kill any rogue bacteria. This must have been pasteurized by a nuclear reactor. The flesh looked a lot like the other, but it had foamy stuff on the outside of each piece (I scraped it off before eating). As for the way it was presented, it looked more like what you would find at the edge of a parking lot at the beach. I feel like I cheated a seagull out of a free meal….


This last round was pretty rough. I don’t have seatbelts on my toilet, so I didn’t eat more than a few bites. I’m sure this stuff is amazing when it’s fresh, but after being beat up in a can for who knows how long, I didn’t feel like taking chances….