I just found out that the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead is showing on You Tube right now for free. Basically it’s about an Australian guy who was in very poor health, and decided to go on a juice fast for 60 days to reboot his health. I know there are people rolling their eyes as they read this thinking I swallowed the blue pill and now I’m going to go on a juice binge, but you would be wrong. I will however say that some of the stories in the movie inspired me, and the opening scene was like a slap in the face.

“Getting sick may have been a good thing. It told me I needed to slow down, and start taking better care of myself. If I didn’t I would have suffered a heart attack and died.”

Holy shit! I felt like I was talking to myself in a mirror! Sure I was diagnosed with a disease a few months ago, and sure I have made some pretty drastic changes in my life in the hopes of turning things around, and sure I have turned things around somewhat, but that’s where it stalled. I’m still doing good, but I won’t complete the circle until I start doing great.

Heart disease runs in my family. I should have been taking this a lot more seriously, but for some reason I have not. If I really want to outlive my father (who died of congestive heart failure in his early sixties) I need to seriously kick myself in the ass. Like lace up the steel toed boots kick in the ass.

I’ve been playing around with the thought of going 100% vegan for a few months, and I have been trying to loosely follow a plant based diet, and so far it has proved to work wonders on my physical health. But even with the 180 I pulled on my diet, getting my cholesterol, triglycerides, and my A1-C in check I still haven’t thrown stupidity to the wind and just “jumped in the pool”.  As for getting fully healthy, I am still failing. Sure I have dropped 70 or so pounds since I left California and went back to school, but I am still well over 200 pounds. I do have a large frame, but that is a bullshit excuse. What I need to do is either shut the fuck up about my health, or actually do something about my health.

Emotionally I may look fine on the outside, but inside I am a wreck. I think my health is a major factor in the way I feel. I still sort of feel and look like shit. We’ll OK I know I look and feel like shit. If I can’t stand to see myself in the mirror then I know I’m a source of eye strain for the people around me. I need to take charge and change it. Vegan it is. I know it’s the right thing to do. I know the science behind a plant based diet – It’s all I’ve been reading about for a month or so. I know things are going to suck from time to time they already do. The end result will be total happiness because I will feel better physically which will improve how I feel mentally “completing the circle”.

One thing that will be my saving grace is my level of stubbornness. I know I can turn off any behavior like a light switch with no issues whatsoever. I’ve done it in the past out of spite, but now I can do it for my own good, health, and wellbeing. My goal is to be happy.

Time to flip the switch.

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