florida-lottery-winnerI actually won $12 in the latest 600+ million dollar lottery. Hooray for me!

Oh course I spent $20.00 to make $12.00, but whose counting…

I just realized that vehicular manslaughter is legal if you are blocking one’s path to a McDonald’s.

The other day, some idiot flew right through a stop sign missing my Jeep by inches, sped around to the next line of parking places, and parked? I’m fine, but I spilled half of my coffee into my lap. I guess that’s why you shouldn’t drink and drive. When I drove past him and started calling him all kinds of naughty names, he responded with “I’m just getting some breakfast!” ??? I guess I learned a valuable lesson. Never get between a man and his McMuffin with cheese. It could end up costing you your life.

When I finally got to school, I took a sip on what was left of my coffee only to find out it was scalded, and tasted like shit. The usual coffee I get with my morning bagel was almost out, so I tipped the container forward to get a full cup. I guess it had been low for a while, and the heating element burned the coffee. I don’t recommend sitting through a three hour Pharmacology class when you are irritated, and coffee-less.

Bret Michaels has a new show where they overhaul RVs? Sort of like “Pimp My RV”.

Bret Michaels is nasty, and I am still scarred from watching a few minutes of his last reality show where he tried to find a wholesome tramp in a barrel of tramps. Personally I think he should have a real reality show called “Guess My STD.”

Why do people on the food television shows over act when they eat?

I thought I was watching a bad porn this morning. It seemed like everyone who ate something enjoyed it WAY too much. I like food just as much as the next guy…well I guess I don’t, but they still really need to dial back Binge-Eatingthe grunting and eye rolling every time someone takes a bite of something in front of a camera.

Malted milk balls  = vacation.

Some candy chain in Indiana hosted a malted milk ball spitting contest. The winner got an all expense paid vacation….somewhere. The winner spit his milk ball a little over twenty feet. That’s a pretty good shot, and it got the persona free vacation…. to somewhere. I actually like malted milk balls, and would rather eat them, but I’d spit one twenty feet for a free vacation.

The Bacon Bacon restaurant in San Francisco was shut down…..for smelling like bacon?

The neighbors called the health department on them, because the surrounding area smelled like bacon. I think the only reason they complained about the smell is because the neighbors were probably all vegans…. vegans smelling bacon all day then dreaming about having fun sexy time with herds of yummy pigs. They should have just complained to the owner personally. He would have probably paid for their silence with yummy bacon.

bacon

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