I think I am going to start doing this every week. I’ll call it my weekly purge. It will be a wrap up of all the craziness I’ve witnessed during the past week.

Tuesday

“Just saw a sweatshirt with Hollister Long board Classic?”

How are the waves in Hollister these days? If you know where Hollister California is you can see the inside joke. Hollister is a pretty sleepy older town that is about 30 miles (as the Hollisterrodent squeaks) from the nearest bit of ocean. I’m not sure who even invented the whole Hollister clothing line? It’s a nice old town……but not that nice. Maybe if they had pictures of strawberry or tomato fields or wild hogs on their clothes, because that’s what you’ll find the most of if you drive through on your way to someplace else.

“EEEWwww!”

That’s what I heard when I pulled out my nice healthy lunch. All I had was my usual which was shredded veggies in a whole wheat tortilla topped with Sriracha and Indian banana sauce. The woman that said it was as big as a delivery van, and seemed to be taking a break from mauling a burger. The first thing that popped into my head was “who are you trying to kid?” Maybe she only said ewww in hopes that I might drop it and move away from the table long enough for her to attack. What makes fat people fear healthy food? HMmmm something to think about.

Thursday

didgeridoo“WOW! Chatty girl stopped talking?”

There is a girl I see a few times a week that has the ability to talk without stopping for hours at a time. You probably think I’m just exaggerating, but I’m not. She is like a human didgeridoo. You know what a didgeridoo is right. It’s an Aboriginal instrument that requires the player to breathe in and breathe out almost at the same time allowing them to play it without stopping for a breath. Anyway, this girl has one of those monotone voices you can hear everywhere, and she talks nonstop to another girl who just nods in agreement from time to time. I can’t believe this girl hasn’t passed out from low oxygen levels, because she literally doesn’t stop as soon as she sits down.

Until today!

She actually stopped. It was like the scene from Forest Gump where Bubba goes on for hours about the different ways you can cook shrimp…. Then he finally reaches the end of his list, and it was like neither of them knew what to do next? Well it was just like that. Chatty girl just stared blankly at her friend for about three minutes then she started up again. I guess she really has to stop to breathe.

Friday

“LOOK MA NO HANDS!”

I finally saw something on the road that scared me more than a rabid McDonald’s patron. I was driving to school this morning, and noticed a woman flying down the road in a giant SUV. She was steering with the tip of one of her elbows and flailing her hands all over the place. It turns out she wasn’t on fire. She was just signing to the deaf passenger next to her. I’m glad they had a chance to chat on their way to where ever they were headed, but it seemed awful dangerous to me. How does the passenger interrupt her to sign “OH SHIT A POWER POLE!” or “FAMILY IN THE CROSS WALK!”, because the driver was looking right at the passenger and not the road in front of her? Can the deaf yell when they sign?

“Dentyne Classic”

Today was another fun filled pharmacology lecture, so I needed something to help keep me awake. I didn’t buy chips because I didn’t feel like fighting the vending machine for them, thCAXIGM4Lso I decided on gum. I settled on cinnamon flavor which turned out to be Dentyne Classic? I’ve never seen a classic form of chewing gum before? It made a lot more sense when I tried to chew a piece, because it almost cracked into shards. It was just like 70’s era gun did when you finally found a pack under your car seat, and realized it’s the one you lost a few years earlier. The same pack you chewed anyway because you were desperate for gum. Ahhhh the memories.

Advertisements