Weekly Purge (x2)

This week’s purge had to be a merged with last week’s purge, because my schedule has been a sleep deprived, fiery, flea infested hell, and I haven’t been able to think too clearly on anything other than school. I have completed three of the five classes, so all I have left are three timed papers for my keyboarding class on Monday, and a fifty word vocabulary quiz on Tuesday in my Disease class. Everything else is done. Wednesday I will sleep all day. If my phone rings, I will smash it and go back to bed.

So let’s get on to the madness shall we. Over the last two weeks, I have witnessed ignorance at its most primal level, lost three months worth of school work for five classes, and even got yelled at by a hippie. It’s all good, because it gave me loads of things to share with you all.


Tuesday June 4, 2013


UPS woman (the one who makes fun of my healthy food) is a fucking moron. I call her UPS woman because she weighs about 1100lbs. “just like a UPS van.” She is working on a group Cherry-Pieproject for what sounds like a nutrition class with four other equally moronic people. I am calling them morons because none of them has done any work on their project, so they haven’t got a clue about what they are presenting. I only know this because UPS woman is one of the most loud and obnoxious people I’ve ever seen; I can’t help not knowing what they are working on. Anyway, she is trying to explain carbohydrates to her friends.  Apparently carbohydrates are found in: sugar, fiber, fruit, corn, cherry pie, and soda. I felt like saying something, but she is a fucking moron and REALY obnoxious, so not helping her might keep her from eventually getting a job in the healthcare system. I’ve run into people like her in the past. It is usually when I need blood drawn or something potentially painful. Lucky me.


Blind leading the blind….now she is talking down to her group like they are stupid because they don’t think she knows what she is talking about (It’s amazing how fast they turn on each other). She is trying to explain the importance of sleep to them.

“Not sleeping makes you hungry and gives you type 1 diabetes.”


 “Yes, but you have to get 8 hours a night.” “If you sleep an hour more or an hour less, it will mess you all up. Believe me, I know!”

“No it doesn’t”

“Yes, it does. I read it in the textbook….Let me look it up real quick.”

The conversation then changed to when and how much you should eat for breakfast each day to ward off diabetes? While one of the women was typing out their slides, UPS makes fun of her for putting the % in front of a number. She tells the woman she is covering percents in her math class, so the mistake stood out? The last time I checked, we were in college. I learned how to figure out a percentage when I about eleven years old?

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, they finished their project and left. Every quarter I run into someone like this. I can’t get away from them….I want to slap this one. My friggin 7 year old nephew knows more about nutrition than this idiot. I hate making fun of these people, but they are adults trying to get jobs in the medical field. I know in this case there is probably a little less than a snow ball’s chance in hell that will ever happen, but then again I have treated by a few of these idiots over the years. UPS van in a skirt…that’s all it is…a UPS van in a skirt.


Wednesday June 11, 2013

I just heard UPS talking to her friend about getting a crappy grade on her carbohydrate presentation the week before. All she said was “Well you can’t win em all I guess.” “Some teachers are just out to get you no matter how hard you work.”



Tuesday June 5, 2013

FUCKING FLASH DRIVE PIECE OF SHIT! Now I have ink all over me and my printer is all pissed off!

I know I should back up all of the work I have stored on my flash drive. I did. When I tried to move it from my laptop to my main computer something decided to mark all of the files as .CHK, and now I can’t open any of them. I spent a whole day trying to retrieve all of this quarter’s school work including the tri-fold medical pamphlet I had to make for my Human Disease class. Of course it is due tomorrow. WONDERFUL! This is the second time in a year where I lost ALL of the work I had done over the quarter the night before I needed it. FUCK! ME!

It took me about eight hours to make the first pamphlet, a second to lose it, and another six hours to make a new one without any of the notes I used on the first one. Did I mention FUCK! ME!


Thursday June 6, 2013

This is a conversation UPS is having with someone who seems to be dumber than she is if that is even possible (anymore and you might forget to breathe).

dumb-and-dumber2UPS’s Friend: “Really? Really? I really need to know how many times 8 goes into 701!”

UPS: “You may have to balance your checkbook, so knowing how to do this might come in handy.”

UPS’s Friend makes one of those I just bit a lemon faces and says, “What’s a checkbook?”

<Insert inaudible mumbling>

UPS’s Friend: “I live at home.” “Fuck my dad! What’s he gonna to do kick me out?”

We are all doomed….


Friday June 14, 2013

I knew today was off to a good start, because the night before I decided that my Pharmacology class was not going to get the best of me, so I went to bed without studying for today’s final.

I slept like a baby.

On the way to school, I got a yummy bagel, a cup of coffee, and I got cussed out by a crazy hippie. As I was leaving the parking lot with my breakfast, I stopped to let a woman cross the angrystreet with her toddler aged child. When they were safely across the driveway, an old crusty hippie looking guy was walking up to the same section, so I nicely waved him on allowing him to cross as well. He nods then stops right in front of my Jeep and throws me a peace sign then he hold his fist in the air like the old Black Panther “power to the people” high signs and walks on towards the grocery store. As I drive by he looks back at me. I give him a friendly nod, but as soon as I nod, he yells “FUCK OFF!”

I was laughing so hard that I almost dumped my coffee into my lap. His angry hippie voodoo curse actually stayed with me for the rest of the day, because I was able to get my usual bag of chips out of the vending machine of doom without any hassle, and I think I did pretty well on the final that has been stressing me out so much that I haven’t been able to sleep over the past few days (until I said screw it last night and put it out of my mind completely).

I guess hippies and their curses can be useful sometimes.