Two great things.

1) I was able to get financial aid sort of figured out enough to attend the fall quarter.

2) Week one is finished, and I am still alive.

Instead of writing every day I decided to keep a log during the week then posting a Weekly Dump. I know that may sound like a special poop session, but trying to keep up with this, school, and YouTube is proving to be a chore.  So without further ado, I present “Week One.”

Monday, September 23

Two days a week I only have one class and it doesn’t start until 2:00pm. That means I get up at the crack of noon, and take the bus to school. Monday’s bus ride was pretty event-less. There were no kooks to watch, no traffic jams, or anything neat like that.

There is a high school between where I get off the bus and the Clark campus, so I have to walk two blocks to get to school. Usually it’s a nice relaxing walk. Today however, I saw a full sized truck parked in the student parking area beside the high school that was flanked by one police cruiser, two school security guards, and one police officer who was standing about ten feet in front of the truck.

As I walked by I noticed a teen in the passenger side of the truck and an adult behind the wheel talking on a cell phone? No one seemed to be agitated. Everyone seemed to be calm. Then as I walked a little more I saw three more cruisers come skidding around the corner and into the parking lot which finished blocking in the truck. I have no idea what was going on, but the people in the truck didn’t seem to be worried about being “hassled by the man.” I never saw anything in the news about this, so now I’ve been wondering what was going on all week.

Once I got to school, I heard a fire truck speed by the opposite end of the campus and stop. The last time I witnessed that, it turned out to be a burned bagel in the break area that set off the alarm.

My one class for Monday and Wednesday is called Adult Health Education. I’m taking it to satisfy a health credit I need for my degree. It’s kind of a weird class. I was hoping for science, but it’s turning into what looks like a holistic approach to health which is fine, but I was hoping for science. I’m all for learning new things, but I will draw the line and hand holding and chanting. I can get two extra credit points per class for bringing in a veggie snack to munch on during class (no extra credit fruit, because fruit is too easy to eat).

Tuesday, September 24

Today I have three classes. Professional Self Development, Computer Essentials (I have more experience than the professor does, so I will be struggling to stay awake during class), and finally ICD9/10 medical coding. I guess I don’t mind the classes. What I do mind is the five hour break between the second and third class. I’ve had worse, but after leaving a class that seems to be “Mickey’s Tree House” difficult I am really struggling to stay awake by the time my coding class starts. Coding lets out at 7:30pm, so it makes for a long day.

Wednesday, September 25

Today the bus was packed with idiots. Don’t get me wrong when I say idiots, because they were idiots. Going from light and quiet one day to overcrowded, smelly, and obnoxious a day later was almost too much to bear.

– Deaf guy with a pit bull and a huge rucksack hops on the bus. His friend explains to the driver that his dog is a service dog even though there are no markings, and the dog’s leash is a rope. He seems harmless though. He is traveling with another guy, and they’re now signing to each other right in front of the kid’s face that sitting between them. The kid doesn’t know what to do, so he leans back and lets them talk away.

– At the next, stop some filthy dreadlocked guy and girlfriend? get on with two more dogs. Neither of the dogs is trained and look like average run of the mill mutts. They tell the bus driver they are service dogs as well. Really? what do they do sniff out leftover cigarette butts and discarded crack rocks? The driver lets them on, and they move to the far back of the bus and start talking REAL loud. Too bad his dumbass “service dogs” can’t sign for him, because I really didn’t feel like listening to that level of crazy on a crowded bus. However, the minute he opens his mouth, I can’t stop listening.

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Crazy town: “I need f-in open space for my f-in phone’s solar charger.”

My brain: Solar charger and a $400.00 phone, but no home or job? I don’t even have a solar charger for my phone. Maybe I’m doing something wrong.

Crazy town: “Music is my one f-in vice and my f-in speaker broke.” “One f-in vice.” “I could go back to smokin dope, but f-in music.”

My brain: Only one vice? Really? I think there are a lot more but this ride is too short for such lists……I was waiting for the rest of the sentence, but I guess he was done.

Crazy town: “Just got out of f-in jail, and the f-in cops stole my rollin papers.”

My brain: I don’t think the cops stole your rolling papers….you just can’t smoke pot in a police station.

Crazy town: “Left jail with a blanket, and ran into a cold chick that was freezin on the corner.”

“ Let her use my blanket.” “F-in cops show up, she ran off with my f-in blanket with the cops after her.”

My brain: How did he end up with a blanket? I wish I was there to witness that. The Benny Hill theme song playing in my head as the police chased a crazy woman dressed in a blanket through a parking lot in the rain.

Crazy town: “Got a job at a f-in auction house sellin shit.”

My brain: Now I’m really irritated. This boob gets a job in an auction house, and I’m unemployed. Maybe I should start living off of marijuana and trash. My luck may just change.

Crazy town: “F-in broke my smart phone. I drop it all the time, but this time it f-in fell on a rock and now when I push a button the f-in thing thinks I’m stupid and pushes the wrong button.”

My brain: Here we are with the smart phone again. I still don’t own a smart phone, but I’m glad his has a sense of humor.

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– I send myself texts, so I can remember these things. <I got caught taking notes> The woman sitting across from me seemed irritated the whole time this idiot was swearing, but as soon as she realized what I was doing, she gave me a devious smile. I do good work. I’m glad someone sane finally noticed.

[7:45pm – We’re heading home]

– On the way home, the short bus behind us actually pulls out from behind and beats us to the top of the hill…

– Stupid slow bus.

– As soon as we reach the top of the hill, we pull over to let some people on and off the bus. A rather large gentleman sporting long flowing Farrah Fawcett style hair and a pretty pretty princess tiara got on and sat high priestess of bacondown. Everyone tried to play like they didn’t see it. He looked like a long haired version of Chum Lee from Pawn Stars wearing a tiara. I noticed. I even tried discretely to take a picture, but the guy next to me kept getting in the way. I’ll call tiara guy the Princess of Bacon.

– At the next stop, a big guy got on the bus and decided he wanted to stand. He didn’t use the overhead rail to steady himself. Instead he backed up the vertical bar by the back door. Still not wanting to use his handsl, he let the bar rest between his butt cheeks. He was wearing pants (thankfully) but standing like this made him look more like he was part of the bus rather than a passenger. *Note to self. NEVER use railings on the bus. He stood like this for a few blocks then he unclamped himself and exited.

(Five minutes later)

– Oh nice! The bus driver just hit the curb at 20 miles per hour. I thought we hit another car, but thankfully it was only a little cement.

– The guy sitting next to who caught me trying to take a picture of the Bacon Princess got up to get off the bus. As he was leaving, I realized I had been sitting next to a real life nerd ninja the whole time. He was covered in Batman logos and cool ninja accessories like metal fans and nun chucks. Damn! I could have been interviewing him this whole time. I tried to get a picture of the Bacon Princess a few times, but he kept blocking my view. Maybe he was sent to protect “her” from prying eyes?

– The rest of the way home I keep seeing little tufts of hair floating around the bus. One has landed on my foot. I look around and think the hair belongs to a slightly hairy looking guy who is tugging at his matted ponytail. Then I notice there is hair floating all over the damn bus. Then it dawns on me. This is probably the bus I rode to school on. Thank God all those idiots brought their flea bag dogs on the bus. Was there a grooming session after I got off? This makes me hate Portlander types even more. People please. Pick up after yourself, because I really don’t enjoy sitting in your filth six hours after you leave a space. Oh, and homeless my butt. If you have money for cigarettes, expensive solar powered smart phones, AND a suitcase full of pot….you can take time out of your day to clean up after yourself.

Thursday, September 26

– Just like Tuesday, the day is long, I tried to sleep in my Jeep, but my Jeep is the most uncomfortable vehicle on the planet. I went back to the building were all of my classes are, and talked to some friends who were trying to kill time. One of them is past her due date by almost a week, so I tried to get a pool started to bet on which class her water breaks in. We are all hoping for the one class that is taught by a man, and he’s terrified that she is going to deliver the baby in his class. One of the BMED professors jokingly said if she took notes and wrote about having a baby in a Business English class she could get extra credit. Heh

An hour into the wait a bunch of security people came in looking way too official. Then a gaggle of paramedics came in with a stretcher then came back out the elevator with a woman strapped in. She didn’t look happy. I’m thinking she fell down the stairs on the floor above where we were. Not a good way to start the week off. I hope she is OK.

Well here endith the week. Not the whole week…just the school part. Now I need to get back to my homework. Bye for now.

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