beard This post is going to be sort of a gripe, so get ready. I may offend a few of you, but this is my blog so get used to it.

I hate beards! There I said it. I can’t stand them. Ever since watching a drunken Dan Akroyd gnaw on a smoked salmon through his fake nasty Santa beard I’ve always been grossed out by over grown facial hair. Now, move me North from California to Southern Washington to a place that is within spitting distance from Portland and I am surrounded by beaded people. Not just the big scraggly wino beards, but the meticulously groomed “fancy” ones. The new thing up here is a greased up Pompadour-like hairdo,  neatly clopped beard, skinny jeans, beardstertight fitting flannel shirt, and new old looking and probably really expensive leather boots. Maybe even some heavy framed glasses. I call them metro lumberjacks. It’s the new thing. I guess the hipsters started watching Duck Dynasty, but couldn’t handle the hillbilly part, so they sexy’d it up a little. Why do I hate the “look” so much? Because there are hundreds of  these clones walking around showing off their sexy man wilderness look. They’re like Ugg boots. They are everywhere. Literally everywhere. knuckle beardI’m sorry. Shave you damn face. These guys look like prissy lumberjacks? What’s the deal. There are even three of these clones at my gym. I actually thought they were the same person until they were all in the same side of the gym? I don’t get it. I guess it’s the lumberjack version of the Madonna craze back in the 80’s. Let’s just hope the fad fades fast. Until then I will continue to throw up in my mouth every time I see some bearded wonder eat something.







Just stop already……

bearded wonder